This Regret
by Ojufemi
Summary: [Sheelos] Sheena looks back at the last, pleasant memory she had shared with the only other person she truly loved in the world.


This story is extremely old… but I can recall being inspired by some sad music and a few Sheelos pictures… I'm inspired by **a lot** of pictures, m'kay? Strange enough, I don't recall what song I listened to either… but it doesn't seem important now. It just fitted with the story…

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia.

**If you didn't end the game with Kratos, then be warned. Spoilers!**

* * *

I stared at the blurry image of my ceiling above me. The soft, caressing wet feeling of a tear falling down my cheek ran down my neck till it stopped at the hem of my shirt. 

I tried to stop the tears, but they kept coming. Even as I put my hands up to my eyes to try and make them stay behind my eyelids they seep through.

Sniffling, I shuddered into the covers around my body, sinking even deeper under them.

'Damn you Zelos..' I thought over and over again. I could still remember those few moments we'd shared together without you ruining it or someone to interrupting us. One was especially haunting my mind right now…

* * *

_I was just sitting there. Knees brought up to my chest, my arms wrapped around them tightly to keep my shell closed tightly. After loosing to Kuchinawa, I was in no mood to talk to anyone. Especially you._

_But you still came._

"_Sheena, what're you doing?"_

_I ignored your question, moving my head so it could turn away from where you voice came._

_But of course you were already there, leaning over on your hands and knees to give me a questioning look._

_After turning my head, I knew I couldn't move it again. Instead, my eyes looked away, unable to meet your own gaze._

"_Go away Zelos.." I grumbled my voice hoarse for all the yells and cries I'd given from the battle moments ago._

_You didn't leave, as usual. Instead you turned around and had your back resting against mine._

_I don't know why, but I never moved away. Maybe it was because you had the end of my obi between your crossed legs or maybe the comfort oft another was all I really needed._

"_Y'know Sheena, if you're still worried about that Kuchinawada dude you can always talk to me…" You said your voice strangely soft._

_If you'd seen my face you probably would've laughed. I could tell from the burning feeling under my eyes that I was blushing._

_Unable to find my voice I gave a stiff nod, the vice grip on my legs slacking until we were sitting the same way. The way your fingers toyed with my obi soothed my tense nerves and soon I found myself leaning against you lightly._

_I know you smiled, since you gave a soft chuckle. It was startling when you pushed me back, lying yourself against me to look up at the dark sky as if I was a tree._

_I growled, annoyed with your antics and my discomfort. Pushing back, I heard you give a small type of 'herk' as you fell flat on your face. I'd laughed, amused by your childish actions._

_Though the joy didn't last long as you once again pushed back, making me fall from my sitting position so that you were sprawled over me._

_We remained in that position for what felt like hours. What had seemed like hours was only seconds, as tried to shove your heavy body off mine. I failed the first time. Your grip only tightened as your mischievous smile grew. Growling again, I pushed against your chest forcefully before you could make some stupid, flirtiest comment._

_As we tumbled for a few minutes the two of us constantly fought over who would stoop over whom. I don't know who won, but I hadn't cared. You didn't seem to mind that neither of us won either. Or maybe you thought you won._

_Backs once again pressed against each others, we both lay on our sides, panting, but calm._

_My face was red from embarrassment but the sickness in my stomach over Kuchinawa was gone. We lay in the grass together. You and I. Through the tough lose of a friend and enemy was hard, you made it better._

_I can remember whispering 'Thank you' before drifting off to sleep, the soft chirps of crickets humming our own lullaby._

* * *

By the end of my memory one of my hands hand moved over the left side of my chest, my heart thumping slowly against my fingertips. 

More tears squeezed their way out of my eyes. I clutched my pillow again, burying my face in the soft yet already damp cloth.

When you made us fight you, it hurt. It didn't hurt like when your sword slit wounds on my skin, but it hurt like a wound deep inside my heart. Every time I hit you, I hit me. You made me feel your pain.

Loosing you and Corrine is a dreadful and harsh twist in fate.

I hate loosing you both, and I loved you both. But life took you away from me.

My fingers probably would've made holes in my pillow case by now, but I stopped and looked up, past the ceiling and towards the heavens, with sight clouded with tears.

"It hurts Zelos… It hurts… too much…" The words escaped my mouth into the silence. Nothing but the soft chirping lullaby of the crickets lulled me to a deep, unpleasant sleep.

* * *

(In memory of Sheena's beloveds)


End file.
